When I first started my Diploma in August 2017, I have my life planned out - or so I thought I did. All I have planned out was that I graduate in 2019, get a job as an automotive journalist and be set for life.
However, all of that have gone down the drain by mid-2018 as a series of mental health issues had me skipping classes and missing assignments altogether. Took nine semesters instead of six, and by the time I was in my last semester, COVID-19 had all of us stuck at home, taking online classes. Depressing is just an understatement.
The first MCO meant that we were all stuck at home, not allowed to go out unless it's absolutely necessary. When it was loosened up, I took the initiative to be a private delivery driver - despite that I am a certified Lalamove driver by then - and had some form of success. I didn't earn much, but it was something. I also worked at a car wash for a while before leaving, hoping to further my studies in Degree, but that never materialised due to MCO and financial reasons.
I can't help but feel like my graduation couldn't have came in the worst time possible. Job market is absolutely trashed up - made even worse now given our MCO 2.0 at the time of this writing - and there's really no one but myself to blame for it. I can't help but feel that had I graduated in 2019 instead, I would have gotten myself a decent job and probably scored my second car with my hard-earned cash by now. Even if I'm not talking about buying my first car, there are many ways those cash could have benefitted me, such as pursuing a degree.
However, saying all that ignores the blessings that I have been bestowed upon. I still have what I need.
I still have food on my table, I still have a car to go around places and I still have a roof over my head to call home. I have something to do, which is helping out at my dad's café and I do get allowance for it - even though I never asked for it. I'm not bound by the awful work culture of staying up late at night and overstaying at the office way past working hours. While it's not perfect, it could be worse, and for that I am grateful with how things are now.
With that said, I'm ending this entry with a question: it gets frustrating when what you've dreamed up never materialise, but then it's also possible that your life could turn for the worse if it did. So tell me, what did you dreamed up years ago, how did that pan out for you and how do you think it could have made your life worse if it ever came true?
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